Better

Still sad, not as mad. Less "what next?!" and more "put on your big girl panties and get over it." Less anger, more prayer and thankfulness.



We have a new plan: Trileptol. I'll be focusing on THAT drug in pharmacology this spring.

We are working on the new busing plan. Lainie can't ride the bus without another adult to be there in case of a seizure, and we can't expect, or won't expect, the district to hire someone for the full 45-minute ride the girls have now. So, we will need to ask for Walleta's help (daycare) and the district's help to find a plan that will work.

She didn't lose any skills from that last seizure and is acting normal, emotionally. She's tired, has circles under her eyes, is coughing, is on motrin around the clock, and is still sleeping in my room or with the monitor on ... I just cannot yet "Let Go and Let God" enough to have her asleep in a separate room. Pray for me on that one.

We can't prevent this or predict this or stop this without God's help and guidance. We can use whatever meds we want and whatever experts we think and whatever tests they have, but if it's God's intention, then it will be.

And so, we pray. And medicate. But mostly pray.

F-bombing Christmas

I dropped the f-bomb, twice, this Christmas.

But it was for a good reason. I rarely use that word, but when I do, you know it's for a worthwhile cause.

We had loaded up the kids after a fabulous Christmas Day at Jay's family. We stopped at kwik shop in Abilene for gas and I went in to get a drink for Jay. As I came out the door, I heard Katie and Maggie start screaming from the car. I felt that panic and started walked faster. Just as I rounded the back of the car, I heard Jay say "Go get your mom," saw him with Lainie, and realized she was having a seizure.

Damn. (see, no F-bomb yet.)

Jay and I got her out of the car, to the pavement, and I turned her when she vomited to clear her airway, grateful she stopped turning blue. I asked someone to start timing, asked someone to call 911, asked someone else to get my coat for her to lay on, and caressed her hair while she had a grand mal seizure. On Christmas. At 11:45 p.m. In the Kwik Shop parking lot.

The ambulance came and loaded her up, I hugged the girls and told them everything would be okay and I was proud of them, turned to Jay, hugged him, and dropped the first F-bomb of the night.

His exact response? "My thoughts exactly."

Grand mal only lasted 2 minutes, and she regained consciousness at about 12:10, at the ER in Abilene. Blood tests, fever 102.6, urine test...and a call to the neurologist = 100 mg of zonegran and restart that drug.

Second f-bomb.

I'm so sad, so mad. I don't want her drugged again. She's just now happy and calm and learning so much! Isn't there another option?

But we can't let her go through those seizures. Her pulse was racing, even an hour after the seizure, her little muscles twitching all over. On the way home, while she was still awake, she kept going through the alphabet in sign language and air-writing, like she too was making sure it was all still there, proving she hadn't lost anything with this one.

Do you think she knows?

And where do we go from here?

We'll find out later this week. Will call her doc in the morning. In the meantime, she's sleeping in our room, all of us are back home tonight and Lainie's on around the clock ibuprofen until fever is stopped or we figure out the cause.

Oh, and now it's Jay's birthday. What a gift.

Actually, it is. We are home. She's stopped seizing. We'll worry about the rest tomorrow.

Actually today...in about 5 hours.

A Weekend in Review

What did I do this weekend? Well, if you start the weekend on Friday night, I:

• Worked a 12-hour shift at the hospital
• Took a 2-hour nap
• Cooked ham and cheesy potatoes, lasagne roll-ups, taco casserole, pizza rolls, Denver omelets, meringue cookies, and caramels
• Made 7 meals for my mother-in-law to use while she's recovering
• Put 1 meals in our freezer for future use
• 7 batches of laundry
• Clean sheets!
• Clothes laid out for 3 girls
• chapter 8 of statistics
• post-clinical paperwork
• pre-class reading for Monday
• a few hours hanging out with a friend
• another 2 hour nap
• church and children's liturgy
• watched Gnomeo and Juliet as a family, and
• updated by blog

Still to do: find a way to get sleepy enough to go to bed, put Natalie back to bed again, pack bags for tomorrow's school, and read 8 more pages in my textbook.

Six more days of class this semester, just 6 more days