I had one of those eye-opening moments, a "no wonder I'm stressing" minute. This boy of mine has already tested my heart so much.
This boy of mine... I know he has been through a lot, but I didn't realize how much until today, when I started to list them in my head. I know, others have gone through more. But our Gus Gus...
- We thought we lost him at 8 weeks gestation, with a bleed.
- We started labor at 26 weeks and had a very long 11 weeks of bedrest.
- He was born blue, recovered within a minute thanks to our great nurses, but still scary.
- He was born with three holes in his heart. All three resolved by the time he was a year, but still scary.
- He got whooping cough at four months.
- He got diagnosed with a peanut allergy when he was 2.
- He was diagnosed with epilepsy last year.
- He has earned an asthma diagnosis now, too.
So, his daily regimen includes seizure pills, two kinds of inhalers, and frequent ibuprofen to prevent febrile seizures, as well as carry an epi pen and a seizure-stopping diastat. I have spent as many nights at his bedside praying for him to get better, as I have spent with all his sisters combined.
And then, he has conversations about Heaven as if he went there on his last summer vacation. This week he said "If I make it to Christmas..." what four-year-old says that!
I guess the bright side is, he's not at all afraid of all these health issues. My worse case scenario is a pretty happy ending for him.
But until then. We all appreciate every day we get. We medicate him through the health crud. And we love every goofy smile and dance and song.