What I think it means to be a mom

This day was like so many as of late: long and busy. I “started” the day out with a twelve-hour hospital shift with very little air time. 

Then I came home, to a delicious supper my hubby made for our family. That was wonderful! 

And then I could have gone to bed.  Seriously, would have fallen asleep in minutes. But, nope.

Outside to help pick 25 pints of cherry tomatoes for tomorrow’s farmers market, because hubby couldn’t do it today while he was preparing for the new school year and kids were at band camp.

Then bed? 

 Nope! Youngest son has a dozen “look what I did, mom” moments to show me. 

Then read bedtime book with youngest two, add bedtime prayers, and kiss good dreams into their foreheads. And tuck them in.

Then bed?

Nope. Make sure my high schoolers have what they need for the morning (6:30 XC run, then band camp all day, then piano for one and babysitting for the other). And make sure they get a few minutes of mom solo.

Then bed?

Nope! College kid called, which is rare, so you make time for it.

Then bed?

Nope! Now I’m too wound up to fall asleep! And so I blog and read and read blogs and avoid angry social media and discuss bills and tractors and farming plans and injured farm cats and bombs in Beirut. 

And, then bed?

After a daily scripture? Hopefully. Because it starts all over again in just under seven hours.

How We Socially Distanced on a Cross Country Trip

The Sleichter seven have just wrapped up a ten-day, ten-state family vacation with very, very little human interaction outside of our family. It’s not that we are bunch of introverts; we just knew the importance of socially distancing while the coronavirus has the nation in its grips. This fact was made even more evident by the need for me to be tested for Covid right before we left, not because of symptoms, but because of exposure to positive patients. (Results were negative, FYI)

So, here’s what we did. We had a bag full of face masks for the family. I had bought some masks for Katie to take with her on her trip to Taiwan last fall, so we had plenty on hand. These weren’t very necessary, as I was primarily the person who had contact with others.

We ate breakfast and lunch as picnics or from our groceries. Most of our supper meals were take out, eaten back in the rooms we had reserved. The three times we ate in restaurants, the restaurants were very diligent about socially distancing, leaving big space between tables, with all the servers wearing masks.

Our destinations were all very “great outdoors” and ideal for socially distancing: Carhenge, Mt Rushmore, Glacier, an Oregon ghost town, an Idaho National Forest, and Yellowstone. But the people vacationing were also politely following the new cultural guidelines of “making space”. For example, at Glacier, the number of people at the park was way down, and the hikers and bicyclists were politely distancing. My kids probably got tired of me saying, “Sleichters to the RIGHT!” every time we met someone on a trail. Where the trails got narrower, people were polite and took turns moving off the trail while the next group walked past. Or, if a group was slower than us, they would move to the side when the trail widened and let us by, as we would do for those faster than us.

The parks themselves had things in place to encourage socially distancing. For example, whether due to construction or covid, the sitting area at Mt Rushmore was closed off and only certain trails were open for hiking. At Yellowstone, the indoor facilities were almost all closed, so your time was spent in the open spaces.

It was like a social experiment, seeing the differences in how the states were handling the virus. Kansas and Nebraska and the corner of Colorado we visited were diligently following recommendations, asking people to wear masks as they entered buildings, having more closed dining rooms. Washington and Idaho didn’t seem to care any more, even having amusement parks open and every dining room we saw opened up. And that's why in Washington and Idaho, the kids were even more isolated from the public, per our request.

And lodging in a cross country trip during a health crisis? That took a little forethought. We stayed in motels that had doors direct into our rooms, cabins that stood apart, or Air BNBs that allowed us to have a house to ourselves. When we did have to stay in hotels, only I went in to the lobby, and the kids had very minimal exposure to any other parts of the hotel, besides the room we were staying in.

Dining also took forethought. It’s one thing to decide what you want to eat and in which town. But then it required facebook searching to determine if the restaurants were actually open to dining yet, what their restrictions were, was there any rioting in the area, and did the recession already take them out of business. It might have been easier just to eat drive through, but that’s a lot of fast food. And sometimes you just need to eat at a table, with food not made in a fryer.

We were the only ones in the restaurant! No masks!

And that’s how we safely planned our family vacation 2020. I also took my temperature every morning and night to make sure I did not show any symptoms of the virus myself.  I feel confidant that there were no potential point of contacts for my family members in the ten days. They are at more risk in their jobs (grocery stores and farmers markets) than they were on this vacation. 

It’s a pathetic shame to have to worry about coronavirus and rioting and recession while trying to plan a family vacation. But at the tail end of the vacation, I say the quality family time we were able to get was worth all the effort and planning.

Running goal: Goal to run

Blame Cindy, my running partner and personal motivator. An idea to run occasionally became a challenge to run in every state we stopped. That goal was modified to be "exercise a mile" in every state, because there was no way I had it in me to run a mile after biking 12 and hiking 5 miles in the mountains.

Why? Because we are in the midst of a health crisis in our country, and exercise boosts your immune system. Because we were going to be traveling for 10 days, and exercise helps prevent blood clots and helps eliminate those old-lady back aches. Because exercise creates endorphins, which will put the kids and parents in better moods for the days' challenges. Because it let us go off-trail and see some rarely seen areas. And so, here it is:


Nebraska mile, running the trail at Carhenge:

South Dakota mile, a hiked mile at Mount Rushmore. This one was tough because I put my mask back on any time we got near people. Have you ever tried breathing hard with a mask on? Not cool.

North Dakota mile, on the streets and fairground in Bowman, ND. Jay ordered lunch in the time it took me to make this run.

Montana mile #1, a hike at Pictograph Caves near Billings, MT

Montana mile #2, a 12-mile bike and 5-mile hike at Glacier

Washington mile is undocumented, because it was on a sad little treadmill in a hotel in Spokane. Because, it's really hard to run safely and socially distant in an urban area.


Oregon mile, in the freaking snow, past a ghost town called Flora, OR

Idaho mile, in the rain, in Kooskia, while the family ordered supper

Wyoming mile, on the dirt mountain road near our cabin near Wapiti, WY. On the bottom picture, look for the tiny purple speck.

Colorado mile, in Julesburg, CO, during another supper stop. 94 degrees at 5 p.m. for this one, followed by putting on the mask to go into the restaurant where we were eating. I looked like a suffocating oompa-loompa.

And, finally, Kansas mile, home sweet home, with said bad/good influencer Cindy, running past her wheat field, in the heat.

I'm proud of this accomplishment, but more proud of my husband, who pushed, cajoled, bet, and nagged me to finish my set goal. Because he knew I'd be disappointed if I didn't. And for the record, I’m nearly 43. I ran in high school, but didn’t run again until I was 30 years old. It is my therapy, my relaxation. I’m not fast, I’m not ... attractive ... while I run, I'm flat out awkward. But I do it for me, and to set a good example for my kids.

Although running in a ghost town in Oregon in the snow may make me certifiably insane.

Cultural lessons from a cross country vacation

We started out this vacation concerned about three things: a deadly virus, a rioting culture, and a recession. But we ended it learning more than we ever thought: history, geology, geography, and social injustices.

Before we started our trip, I had read to John a few articles about Lewis and Clark. Their journey started East of us, went farther North than us, but did intersect our route multiple times. We read about their journey at quite a few of our stops, including Great Falls, MT, and along the Northwest Scenic Highway. And what we saw as a reoccurring theme is, they wouldn’t have made it without the Indians.

And so many places on our journey were named after the NezPerce Indians. Due to the repeat reminders, when we did have wifi, we used our data to search for their history, the backgrounds, why they were so instrumental in our country’s history in that area.

What we read was ugly. Multiple tribes helped the “white man” on his initial journey to the area. They told the travelors where there were waterfalls, where to pass through mountains, hwo to get horses, where to find food sources, and what food to eat when they were starving. They saved the Lewis and Clark expedition from freezing and starving. Lewis and Clark respected and appreciated their knowledge, but still thought of them as sub-par humans, never equals.

And what did the white settlers and the American army do in return? Forced them out of some of the most beautiful, lush, bountiful lands in our country...

 and forced them onto reservations in drought-ridden, arid, rocky, deadly soils. If they resisted, they were killed or forced into deadly situations until they surrendered, as the Nez Perce Indians were. If they didn’t resist, they were killed, as documented at the Sand Creek massacre.

This article was one impressive piece of literature we found in our research: (high mountain article)

And where are they now? Still on reservations, in low quality housing, poor living conditions, with social diseases strong. Why is it that the coronavirus is more rampant and more deadly on reservations than other places? Is it lack of health care? Lack of education about the risks? Or is it a continued distrust for a government who again and again has proven itself to have the Native Americans’ best wishes at the bottom of their priority list?

I never thought we’d end a family-friendly vacation to national parks into a history and cultural lesson on how our culture has abused groups in the past. But I’m grateful for the ability to open my kids’ eyes to the injustices of the past. And when they say, “That is just awful! but what can we do about it now?” I can tell them, “Make sure it never happens again in your lifetime.”

 

Learning about Native Americans

Sleichter Summer Vacation, Day 10: Going Home

After taking this crazy trip to Yellowstone in multiple versions four times, we learned one thing: power through for your drive home. So, we were loaded up in the car and on the road by 7:30 a.m. We had eaten all our stock of pop tarts, so it was a cheap McDonalds breakfast for most (Plexus pink drink plus two iced teas for mom), and hit the road.

Google maps has served us well for most of the trip, but occasionally it’s priority setting of avoiding construction or direct route has sent us on some questionable routes. So when the signs say to go straight but the Google map app said take Wyoming highway 120, we weren’t 100 percent sure which way to go. With a minimal turn-around, we decided to follow the Google maps. And, we found the best highway we have been on the entire trip. It was wonderful, flat-ish, smooth, fast, and not very busy. Thanks to that highway, and Wyoming speed limits, we cut across Wyoming in 10 hours, with a stop for lunch.

But I’d regret not taking about that drive. You know how they say if you don’t like Kansas weather, wait five minutes? Well, if you don’t like Wyoming topography, drive five miles. We started in the snowy mountains, 44 degrees, feels like winter. We drove through savannah, dry brush pasture. We drove through cliffs of rock towering above, marked with which prehistoric eras the fossils within the rock originated. We drove through tunnels carved through mountains, saw train tunnels that looked like mine shafts, saw boulders bigger than a semitruck and could track where they had rolled down the mountainside. We saw rock slides and mud slides and arid areas. And we passed lakes of about every size and shape.

When it came time to decide where to eat lunch, we decided to make it kid friendly. We found a playground with picnic benches on the Platte River. That way, John and Natalie could play on the playground and burn off some energy; Maggie and Katie could walk the trail and get some quiet time away from siblings; Lainie could wander between the two (the joy of being a middle-tween), and Jay and I could have a space to work on the meal and plan. The plan seemed to work, because everyone tolerated the next leg of the journey, about 4 hours in the van to Colorado.



Colorado?! Is Colorado really on your way from Wyoming to Kansas? Well, we discovered a few years ago that Julesburg, Colorado, is a mere 6 miles from I-80, and has a delicious, little, family-friendly café called D&J’s Café. They have all the favorites for our family: corn dogs, salads, hot dogs, grilled cheese, hamburgers, pizzas, mozzarella sticks, chicken fried steak, and good iced tea. (Seriously, make the detour. It’s worth it, and it helps keep a nice family in business.) And, this little detour meant I could run one last mile, to reach my goal of a mile of exercise in every state we visited.



The proximity to home meant, no matter how long those detours took, we would be powering through. Clay Center or bust, and thank goodness, because I think at this point in the trip, my kids may have been losing their minds. What surprised me though, was the slumber-party like atmosphere in the back three seats between my girls. John crashed out in the front row after a bedtime book and prayers. But the girls stayed up giggling together. It meant the world to me seeing my older two including the younger two in their conversations. I'm guessing that would be the highlight of the drive home for Nat, for sure.

Then back on the road, with 5 hours or so to go. Another GasBuddy look-up told us to stop in Ogallalah for gas. The kids begging meant we stopped somewhere for ice cream. And since Amigos was right down the street from Dairy Queen, I even got my beloved crisp chicken burrito with ranch from Amigos! Even a day later, that was the highlight of the drive home. 

Finally around York, the kids all fell asleep. After much begging, Jay let me drive home from York, since I was too hyped up on caffeinated tea and nearness to home to sleep. I woke up a little before Concordia, after seeing a couple deer on the highway, and wishing for another set eyes to watch for those buggers. (Tell me why hundreds of antelope in Wyoming and Montana know to avoid the roads, and Kansas and Nebraska deer just jump across at will?!) 

But we made it! More than 4,400 miles, 10 days, 10 states, 3 national parks, more than a dozen national forests, probably 6 reservations, home around 2:30 a.m. 

Sleichter Summer Vacation, Day 9: Yellowstone

Today was all about Yellowstone! We knew what we wanted to see again, had some new spots we wanted to visit, and were looking forward to more animals.

The animals thing kicked off right away. On the drive into Yellowstone from Cody, we saw a big old buffalo and a newborn baby deer. The deer unfortunately was on the road, but thankfully there was no sign of the deer or its demise on our way back at the end of the day.

The travel was slow, thanks to construction, following a couple RVs, and rainy weather. And we had some kids grouchy, some impatient, and one who wouldn’t quit reading. So, I randomly started a game; with each animal a Sleichter saw, birds not included, they would get a poker chip. Yes, we had a pocket full of poker chips in the van; long story for another time. Anyway, it worked. Immediately, my highly competitive children started looking out the windows and seeing their surroundings.

Despite the traffic delays, we made it to Yellowstone, and based on the online geyser predictor, we had just enough time to make it to Ol’ Faithful before it blew.

Old Faithful was on John’s wish list, so Jay busted his tail as best he could through Yellowstone traffic. And we happened to pull into the parking lot by the geyser just as it blew! John saw it start from the parking lot, and saw it finish as we walked up there closer. The trail around the geyser was closed, so there wasn’t much more to do there, so we piled back in. I guess you could say, we came, we saw, we left.

I should probably add here that, if you intend to go to Yellowstone, make sure you load the Yellowstone app on your phone, and load up the map while you still have wifi. Because once you get near the park, you can forget about having reliable wifi, cell service, or ability to make or receive calls. Plus you can pick the spots you are interested in, and it will highlight them on the map.

Next after Old Faither, we were onto the geyser basins. I could probably spend an entire day walking amongst the geysers and the trails surrounding them. Despite the awful smell of egg farts aka sulfur, the geysers are very humbling. It really shows that the whole park sits on a huge volcano, and it’s the only place I’ve ever seen that looks so very volcanic. Still, the girls weren’t in the best of moods on day 532 of our family vacation, and John was still disappointed in Old Faithful, so we only hit two geyser stops.

We went to Grand Prismatic Springs, one of the most beautiful blue/green geysers in the valley. It was a cold 44 degrees with drizzle, so we had our winter coats on, and weren’t much for dawdling. Still it was great to see them all, the various colors, boiling liquids, steam rising, dribbles of water down the rocky sides.

We really had ran out of patients at this time. So, I told the kids they could stay in the car or get out with me, but we were going to the places on our must see list, whether they liked it or not. It was also cold, drizzling, and lunchtime. So we had a very quiet picnic in the parking lot a trailhead. We enjoyed watching the fly-fisherman, and watch the cars load up and unload while we sat there.

Next on the list, our favorite, Firehole Falls. There is a special branch there, where we have taken our family picture every time we have come to Yellowstone. We were the only ones down the hill near the water, and got the required family photo thanks to the timer on Katie’s phone. Then the kids and parents wandered around, a couple kids heading up to a mini cave; a couple climbing on rocks; and parents heading up a little trail. That particular hike showed us why the falls sounded less intense than usual. Just around the corner from our favorite falls photo, was a giant rock slide that landed in the falls. No wonder it seemed different. It was just another example of how Yellowstone is different every time you go there.

Our next requested stop, and by “our”, I mean “mine” was Mammoth Hot Springs. We had cruised by it yesterday in our state of exhaustion, but I wanted to climb through the rock formations there, and the kids wanted ice cream from the shop there. And Jay wanted wifi to check weather, with the impending winter storm warning heading in from the west. We all got what we wanted, and the littles and I had a leisurely stroll through the maze of boardwalks that make up the northern most part of Mammoth Hot Springs geothermal feature. And the ice cream and clean bathrooms were nice, too!

Back in the car, with three goals to go, the day getting long, and weather on the way. Jay was a trooper, cruising through the park. I did get a lovely video of him asleep at the wheel, while we waiting a long time for a construction flagman to let us through. Otherwise, he’s a rock star, didn’t complain once. To Tower we went, to see the big waterfalls, Upper and Lower Falls. This was high on John’s list, and we all like them for their magnificent beauty and intensity.

Jay happened to turn a road or two early, so we found ourselves on a one way on the north side of the falls. We have always visited the south side. But the new view of the old falls was just as spectacular! I was nervous with the wet pavement and steep inclines and deadly distances to fall. But no one fell, and the photos and memories are amazing.

Back in the van, two more stops. We had no idea the surprises we’d see on the journey, though. Another bear sighting, two for one! A black bear and a brown bear crossed the road right in front of us! We sat there and watched them for a couple minutes, amazed at their playfulness and speed. But we moved along, so others could stop and gaze.

First up: mud volcano. More specifically, Dragon’s Breath geyser. If you only visit one spot, this would be the one. The sounds coming out of that hole are terrifying and amazing. The earth is alive and breathing, my friends! And, it’s not a far walk from the road.

And lastly, Yellowstone Lake. This is one “must do” for all five kids. At this point, I was cold, and it looked wet, so I waited in the car. But the kids had fun, and John had a blast! The lake is so massive, the waves coming off it are similar to what you’d see in the ocean. And what an idealistic, peaceful way to end our Yellowstone visit.

But the park had one more surprise for us. On our journey to Trail Inn at Wapiti, the cars stopped on the highway in front of us. And since there was no flagman, we knew there must be animals. And what do you know, it was a new species to us: mountain goats! I had never seen them in the wild before this day. What a great ending to our park experience.

We weren’t up for another trip to Cody, and the littles only wanted quesadillas or grilled cheese, and TV. So, after we got John ready for bed, fed John and Lainie and Nat, and gave instructions to Nat and Lainie, we walked across the parking lot and ate at the hotel restaurant. We were the only ones there, which felt sad. But the meal was delicious, and service friendly. We even got to hear the rest of the story about the wild fire and all the firefighters hanging around the area. Apparently, the mountain just west of the inn had caught fire a couple days prior to our arrival. Thank goodness the firefighters were on it and got it under control before the neighboring ranches were burned.

So supper and showers done, half the van packed, kids asleep on time-ish, and plans for an early start in the morning. We have a 13.5 hour drive time tomorrow, not including stops for meals and bathrooms and apparently Jay is holding me to a mile run in Colorado. And so I sign off, and pray for safe travels and sleepy kids in the car tomorrow, while we diagonal across Wyoming and power through to home.