Monday, May 5, 2008

L's birthday

L's birthday party was Saturday. Fittingly this year, we had postponed it a week, since she was too sick last week to be much of a hostess. But my oh my was it worth the wait. We bought her a sandbox but it was too cold to play outside and we haven't bought the sand yet, so I filled it partially with beans and left it in our kitchen. The 2-year-old crew played there most of the time. Hoping for warm weather, I also bought lots of bubble stuff and her daycare provider gave her a bubbling cow (awesome gift, btw). So the older kids braved the wind and headed outside to load the air with bubbles. We blew bubbles as much as we dared inside, but I didn't want the floor to get too slick or wet.

L loved it! She loves attention, so it wasn't a big surprise that she enjoyed this day, but I was surprised by how much she enjoyed it. She had this beautiful grin on her face most of the day. When we sang Happy Birthday to her, she just grinned and looked around the room happily. And when she was playing, she would randomly weave through the crowd and run up to me for a big hug, then motion for down to run back to her friends. It was like she knew everyone was there just for her and she was telling me thanks for arranging it. Sometimes I think she can perceive things bigger than life. It's kind of like when she came out of the hospital. She was the happiest child ever. NOTHING made her sad. She walked around laughing and running from room to room for almost a week. The doctor's best guess, and I like this guess, is that maybe she somehow knows how close she came to not being here with us and is just so damn happy to be home?

Along that thought, this birthday was even more sweet. I caught myself a couple times thinking how grateful (not strong enough of a word) that we even got to HAVE a birthday party for her. Things could have turned out much worse. I think that's why both sets of grandparents made it to the party, because we're all a little more grateful for our time with her. And if only we could remember that feeling...if we could ALL remember that feeling...then maybe we wouldn't mind the whiny mornings or sleepless nights quite as muchn and would always remember to prioritize the right way?

Me? I'm going to stop replaying in my mind the image of her seizing uncontrollably and turning blue. I'm going to work really hard at replacing that image with the little movie of her looking around the room, seeing me, and then running, weaving, for a big giant hug and kiss. Now, that's an image to keep.

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