Friday, February 14, 2014

Pins and Needles


Dammit. 

The first post seizure fever is the worst. At least for a kid with febrile seizures.

Or maybe just for her parents.

The fear is huge. Afraid to leave her alone. Wondering if, in the next second, she will stop talking and start shaking. Watching her eyes twitch. 

Must cool her off. But not too fast. Ibuprofen. Iced Gatorade. A tepid bath. "I'm sorry you are cold and I'm making you colder, but your body is too hot."

The lost independence, at least for now. The lost privacy. "No, I can't leave you alone in the bath." "Sorry, hon, you need to sleep in our room tonight."

The wondering. What's causing this fever? Do I take her in now? Can we keep the fever down, if we can get it down, throughout the night? Is it safe for me to still leave for an hour? Is my phone charged? Where is the Diastat?

Ah, no sleep tonight.

And trying to strike the balance between "God, it is in your hands." and doing my job to be her protector, all the while knowing He is the real Protector, of us both.


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