I wish I could be more patient.
I'm sitting here, waiting for an important call. I keep turning up my cellphone, as if by making it louder, it will make the person on the other end call me sooner. I want to know now!
I'm waiting on an email about a class that I want to take next spring. I want to know NOW!
I'm also waiting on a phone call about another class I want to take next spring. Also, wanting to know NOW!
My meetings are done, my tasks complete, I have kids waiting at daycare, but it's not yet 4 p.m. I want to GO now. but.
I want to know NOW, I want to go NOW, but I need to slow down. everything.
I recorded Lainie's speech a few times the past month, for her teachers' benefits. I learned a lot from watching those videos. The most important message I absorbed was, I don't give her enough time to answer. I'm a go-go-GO kind of person, and I need to slow down for her. I talk fast, Katie talks faster, Maggie talks fastest...and then comes Lainie. She needs to be given the time to develop her answer, and given time to correct it if she wants to. I need to slow down and have down time.
And it's not only Lainie. Natalie needs down time to get to free play, to just hang out, to move around, to crawl on me. Maggie needs down time to decompress, to relax, to go her own more-natural, slow pace. Katie needs down time to express herself, to talk about things that concern her, to know she has my attention. Jay needs my down time so we can actually talk to each other about important and trivial things. I need down time to stay healthier than I am right now and to feed my introvert-ical needs.
So, if you ever come to house and notice the pile of unfolded laundry and stack of mail not put away, think to yourself, "Good for Linda! She made down time. And slowed down. If only for a few minutes."