Happy Birthday, Natalie!

My baby turns one tomorrow.

Natalie-new brings so much joy to my life, to our family. Her big, whole-hearted smiles light up a room. Her little snort-laugh cracks me up. She brings plenty of excitement, with her constant movement and go-go-attitude. Natalie is a very laid back girl and only gets upset for two reasons: she's being left alone, or she's being put in the carseat, which also means she can't see everyone. To say she is a social baby would be a massive understatement. Technically, I guess she is a toddler now, with her big girl slow-but-steady stance and wobbly, fast first steps.

Last year at this time, I was closing up my office, preparing for maternity leave. I was looking forward to an evening with Jay, Mom, and the girls. I was tired, cranky, contracting, anxious, nervous.

She definitely made her birth exciting, from almost being born on the floor to causing some post-delivery problems for me. I cannot recall one second of disappointment, despite many people thinking we were 'trying for a boy.' I was so happy, content, with our little Natalie-New. I remember being so proud of the drug-free birth, like I had ran a marathon and finished with a personal best time. I remember holding her in those first moments and being concerned that she looked a little too purplish, so I handed her to the nurse to be rubbed down, even though the nurses thought she looked fine. I remember that first 24 hours, when she ate just about 45 minutes of every hour, and yet we determinedly fought through it to keep nursing (for 11 months!) But most of all, I remember being so proud of our little baby girl and hoping and praying she would remain healthy and strong.

From day one, Natalie has found ways to set herself apart, to shout at the world, "I may be the fourth daughter, but don't you forget me!" From her stark blue eyes to her full-face smile, itty-bitty stature and roly-poly moving, she is an amazing little girl. I sometimes catch myself thinking of what she will become, of what type of teenager or woman she will be, but I have to stop. It makes me too sad. I'm enjoying her right now and don't want time to move too fast. Don't grow up too fast, baby girl.

Natalie is such a daddy's girl now. For 11 months, she wanted mama, needed mama. But for the past month, she's been all about daddy. She won't even say Mama anymore, silly girl. It's only appropriate that she be a daddy's girl, since she is every bit her daddy's gene pool. From the light hair and eyes, to her easy-going demeanor, to the adorable cheekers, she is definitely a little mini-Jay. I'm not (too) jealous... at least, I wouldn't be if I could hear "mama" now and then! :)

Happy Birthday, Natalie Grace!

We love you

Creamy Tomato-Basil Soup

I love this soup! It's so yummy and easy, and the kids don't fight us eating it. The recipe calls for canned tomatoes, but we have substituted fresh tomatoes in the summer or frozen tomatoes in the winter. Did you know that if you core and freeze whole tomatoes, the skin falls right off when you are ready to use them?

Creamy Tomato Basil Soup

• 1 medium onion, chopped
• EVOO
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp dried basil
• 1 1/2 Tablespoon flour
• 1/2 tsp pepper
• 1/4 tsp sugar
• 1/4 tsp baking soda
• 1 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 14 oz can diced tomatoes
• 14 oz canned crushed tomatoes
• 1 cup half-and-half
• 1 1/2 Tablespoon chopped fresh basil

1. In a large stock pot, saute onion over medium heat in oil until soft and translucent.
2. Add salt, pepper, dried basil, and flour. Cook for a few minutes.
3. Whisk in chicken broth to flour mixture until mixed thoroughly.
4. Add tomatoes and stir. Cook over medium heat for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.
5. Stir in baking soda and sugar. (The baking soda (base) will react with the tomatoes (acid) and foam up like a elementary school science experiment. The kids LOVE watching this part, and it's a great opportunity for an impromptu science lesson.)
6. Reduce heat to a simmer. Simmer for 15 minutes.
7. Add half-and-half and fresh basil.
8. Stir and simmer for at least 5 minutes. Turn heat to low until ready to serve.

My family likes to add Goldfish crackers for the kids, or shredded cheese for the adults.

Stinky week turns great!

This morning started with Lainie telling me, "The sun is lovely! The sun is lovely with those puffy clouds." Her vocabulary is starting to bloom, even if her articulation isn't there yet.

Natalie is walking! It's those adorable, unsteady, singular lurching steps, but it's walking! She is so proud to stand up in the middle of the room.

I finished my A&P test. I don't know my grade; it won't be pretty. But it will be acceptable, because at least I got it done.

I'm still chilled out about Natalie's party this weekend. That will make for a much better experience for all of us! If the house isn't spotless, so what. I think we've got plenty of excuses for it not being immaculate. (I am still spending tomorrow night making a cake and picking up the rest of the house, and Saturday morning decorating the cake and the house.)

And, as of this morning, I am officially accepted into NCKTC's Practical Nursing Program for next fall. All these late nights and hard work will be worth it!

I'm a happy girl. Better yet, we are a happy family. It nearly brings me to tears, the amazing support I continue to receive from my husband and children. It will be worth it, family. I promise!

Sausage-Broccoli Puff

I got this recipe from a cookbook handed down to me by my grandmother-in-law. My grandmothers have both passed away, but Grandma Pete's memory lives on in my kitchen, thanks to her Broccoli-Cheese Soup. Not having my grandmas makes me that more appreciative of my grandmothers-in-law and their recipes!

Back to the recipe. It's super-easy, looks fancy, and makes a light, fluffy crust that the kids (and Jay) fight over.

Sausage-Broccoli Puff

• 1/4 cup butter, cubed
• 3/4 cup milk
• 2/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups sliced fresh mushrooms, or 1 small can of mushroom stems and pieces (optiona)
• 1 small onion, sliced into rings
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 pound bulk pork sausage
• 3 cups frozen chopped broccoli
• 1/3 cup uncooked instant rice, or 1 cup cooked white rice
• 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese

1. Place butter in a glass 9-in. pie plate; place in a 400° oven for 2-3 minutes or until butter is melted. Remove from the oven.
2. In a bowl, whisk milk, flour, eggs and salt until smooth; pour into hot pie plate.
3. Bake at 400° for 25 minutes or until puffed and golden.
4. Meanwhile, in a skillet, saute mushrooms and onion in butter until tender; remove and set aside.
5. In the same skillet, cook sausage over medium heat until no longer pink; drain.
6. Stir in broccoli and rice. Cook until tender. (If using cooked rice, cook the broccoli tender before adding the rice.)
7. Stir in mushroom mixture and cheese. Cover and keep warm.
8. When pancake is removed from oven, immediately spoon filling into center and serve.

Parmesan Chicken for Valentine's Da

For our Valentine's Day lunch, we had Parmesan Chicken, garlic green beans, and lemon-butter fried potatoes. YUM! The chicken recipe comes from my good friend, Cydnee:

Baked Parmesan Chicken
4-6 chicken tenders, boneless and skinless
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/3 cup Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 cup Italian bread crumbs

1. Mix together mayo, cheese and garlic powder.
2. Spread mayo mixture over each chicken tender. Then coat with bread crumbs.
3. Place on a greased baking sheet.
4. Bake for 15-20 minutes at 425 degrees Fahrenheit.

To make it an extra special day for Katie, we let her have full rein on decorating the dining room table. I gave her a book that showed the "proper" way to set a table and off she went. It was complete with a white tablecloth, red ribbon, roses, and candles, a chocolate heart for each of us and small Valentine's gift from the girls' V-day stash. It was lovely and, more importantly, made my HGTV-girl so proud of herself! I'll try to post pictures later.

Pink Pancakes for Valentine's Day

I love making Valentine's Day special for my girls. Jay and I aren't the romantic-type but we do appreciate good food and the time it takes to make a really good meal. So, instead of heading out to a restaurant and throwing down $30, I had planned some nice meals today, starting with Pink Pancakes.

One of the purchases that stopped this year, in my attempt to cut down our grocery bill, was Bisquik. That stuff is expensive, especially when you have as many big pancake eaters as we do! We have three pancake recipes we use, but the one below is the easiest and probably my favorite. The strawberries are a special-occasion-only addition.

Pink Pancakes

2 eggs
2 cups flour
1 1/2 cup milk
2 tablespoons sugar (brown or white)
4 tablespoons vegetable oil
6 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tub frozen strawberries, thawed

1. Beat eggs in medium bowl until fluffy.
2. Add in remaining ingredients, except strawberries. Mix until smooth.
3. Pour in the juice from the strawberries. Don't worry if one or two strawberries falls in. Mix until just blended.
4. Heat griddle or skillet over medium heat.
5. Pour about 1/2 cup of batter for each pancake. Cook until it is fluffy, bubbles appear in the batter, and the edges just start to turn golden. Then flip and cook until edges are just turning golden brown.
6. Serve with remaining strawberries and optional syrup and whipped cream.

Needed

It's good to feel needed, but this is going to extremes.

Friday I went to work, optimistic that I would get to work a full week for the first time since Christmas. But, about 9, Maggie's school called. She had thrown up, so off I went, back to CC, as quickly as I could. I spent the day with Maggie, who was a VERY easy patient, mostly taking care of herself or sleeping on the bathroom floor (in a comforter, that is). Thanks to her self-reliance, I cleaned the house, washed laundry, and got another chapter of nutrition done. It felt great!

Since Jay was chaperoning a school dance Friday night, I was solo-parenting it and needed a way to get the girls from daycare but leave Maggie at home. Anthony to the rescue. Little Bro came out and watched ESPN while Maggie slept and I ran to town to load up on bathroom cleaner and get the girls from daycare.

But, before I even got in the door at daycare, I heard Katie announce, "Lainie's going to get sick." We sat the poor girl on the front porch, THEN put her coat and shoes on. She perked up but then, as soon as I let my guard down at home, she dosed the couch, floor, and rug. I lifted her to the bathtub, washed hands, isolated Natalie and Katie in the playroom, put a batch of pukey blankets and clothes in the washer, Chlorox-wiped the couch, floor, rug, and Lysol disinfectant sprayed them all. Then I finished cleaning Lainie up and moved her to the basement next to her other pukin' sista. (Sounds like a rock band, doesn't it?)

So at this point, I had two non-sick girls in the playroom, one girl vomiting downstairs, one recovering in the basement, and a whole lot of disinfecting to do. Bathroom - cleaned. Supper - made. Lainie - clothes change again. Natalie and Katie - fed. Lainie - clothes changed again. Maggie - water, movie. Lainie - clothes changed again. Katie - thanked for the thousandth time for watching Natalie. Lainie - clothes changed again. Fireplace - fire roaring. Natalie in be. Lainie - clothes changed again. Laundry changed. Katie in bed. Maggie in bed. Another batch in. Lainie - clothes changed again. see a pattern? Now, add a hand washing in between each step.

For about an hour and half, I ran up and down the stairs as Natalie fussed and wouldn't/couldn't get back to sleep, and then just as I would get her settled, Lainie would cry out. I'd run back down two flights, help her throw up, do a clean up, scrub up, change my shirt, and run back up to Natalie. I was counting the seconds until Jay got home.

Jay got home at midnight, and he took over anything needed upstairs with Natalie and Maggie. I settled in the basement with Lainie, who finally settled down around 2 a.m. Saturday morning. But, well, you can't take medicine if you're puking every 10 minutes, so she had skipped her zonegran dose, as per the pediatrician-on-call's recommendation. She did get it Saturday morning first thing, but between that, being dehydrated, and just plain exhausted, she barely responded all day Saturday.

Oh, and Katie's big spelling bee was Saturday morning at 9. She won her class bee and got to go to the district competition. I was hoping we could flip a coin to see which parent 'got' to go, but Mommy was demanded, er, requested. So, on 4 hours of sleep, I went to cheer her one while Jay manned the fort. She wanted to spell at least one round, and she did get the practice round correct. But, she missed with "rountine." She had a proud chin walking off the stage, but crumbled as soon as she sat down next to me. "But mommy, I KNOW how to spell routine! All these people think I don't." I consoled her for a bit, and then went with the tougher approach of, "you've already made me proud, just qualifying to be here. Now make me proud by being a gracious participant. Cheer on your friends. Sit up, and suck it up." It took her a few more minutes, but by the end she was congratulating her grade-mate who took second.

About the time the spelling bee wrapped up, my parents arrived for a visit. That was the peaceful part of the day. They were picking up my little brother to take him back south for a doctor's appointment. It was so nice having the time to visit with them, and Dad and Jay started work on another high tunnel. They left around 4, and I had my eyes set on an early bedtime, right after supper.

The girls and I had made pizza dough into heart-shaped pizza, and Katie and Maggie's pizzas were in the oven. Just as I was getting ready to add toppings to one for Jay and I, he came in and announce, "I need to go to the hospital." HUH!? This is the boy who is never sick, who has only been on antibiotic twice in his life, who has never had stitches or broken anthing. So, cut me some slack for disbelievingly asking, "huh?" Apparently, he had fell off a ladder and landed, foot first, on the triangle pointy piece at the bottom of a t-post. The triangle point when through his shoe and through his foot. All I knew was he said, "I cut my foot, my shoe is filling up with blood." followed by a "don't worry. I'll drive myself." I THINK NOT!

Wonderful, fabulous, amazing W-the-queen-of-daycares answered her cellphone, said they were just two miles away and would be there in a minutes to watch the girls. I put K, M, and N in the living room, L was still crashed in the basement office/puking-isolation-room, got a bottle for N, last minute instructions to turn off the oven if W doesn't get there before the timer goes off, got a bag for Jay to put his bloody foot on, plus a new sock and different shoe for the ride home, and we took off. (Don't worry, I called W again and she reassured me they were about 2 minutes away.)

After two hours in the ER, we were headed home. Jay didn't need stitches, because it was a deep cut but not a wide one, but he did get a shot and a prescription for antibiotics. It was still bleeding a little bit when we got home, and my big tough guy is in pain. Added to that, his stomach hurts tonight and he thinks he's coming down with the flu again.

So, here I am, awake, getting ready to sleep in the basement, listening on the monitor in case Natalie wakes up, hoping Maggie is done with her bug, wondering if Katie's feeling any better about her spelling bee performance, grateful Lainie is sleeping peacefully after a dose of motrin and actually eating supper, hoping Jay doesn't have to run hobble to the bathroom any time soon, wondering how I'm going to finish my A&P homework for Monday night, and thinking that once upon a time, I didn't feel needed.

Life is just full of irony, isn't it?

p.s. not sure why I wrote a play-by-play on such a crappy day, except to say, eh...it could be worse. Anymore, this just feels like a normal hectic weekend in our life.

Do You Believe in Angels?

Thursday morning, as I was putting Lainie in the car to go to school, she asked me "Where Baby Rhett Go?" Her speech isn't perfectly clear, so I asked her to repeat it; two more times, it came out clearly, "Where Baby Rhett Go?"

Baby Rhett is our nephew, who died suddenly in 2002. He was 15 months old. Lainie's never met him, and we have probably only mentioned him to Lainie once in the past year.

So, I answered Lainie, "Baby Rhett's in heaven." Lainie said, "I miss Baby Rhett. Baby Rhett come back?" I said, "I'm not sure. Have you seen Baby Rhett lately?" She nodded emphatically. "Do you see him often?" "YES, Baby Rhett stay with me," she said. "What does Baby Rhett look like?" "Baby Rhett yook yike Baby Natalie." That's true, Natalie does look like Rhett, with the same coloring and Sleichter look.

Lainie asked again, "But where Baby Rhett going?" "I don't know, Lainie. Maybe he's going to Heaven?" "Yes," she answered again. "Maybe he thinks you don't need to be protected as much anymore." I said mostly to myself. "Yes," she said, soundly, factually.

I was dumbfounded but believing. When we had our car accident while pregnant with Maggie, Katie was two years old. One day in the hospital, she was laying in the bed with me and waving at the ceiling. I asked what she was waving at, and she answered, "Baby Rhett." We knew then that our family was blessed with the most amazing guardian angel. As we have gone through crisis situations, I have often asked Rhett to watch over my little girls, to help take care of them and give them comfort like only an angel can. Apparently, my prayer has been answered.

The story continues, though. Last night at supper, I asked Katie and Maggie if they remember Rhett. Katie said a little, but Maggie said no...she knows who he is but wasn't born until after he passed away. Lainie chimed in, "I like Baby Rhett." Katie asked how Lainie could know him, since she never met him, and I said that maybe Rhett is her guardian. Lainie said, looking frantically around the kitchen with the saddest face, "Where Baby Rhett? Where Baby Rhett go?" Again, I said that I didn't know, and maybe he went back to Heaven. But then Lainie's eyes locked on the fridge and, pointing, said, "Oh, THERE he is! There Baby Rhett!" If you could only have seen the joy on her face when she "spotted" him. Her eyes tracked from the fridge, through the kitchen, to the floor between her chair and Natalie's. Then Natalie looked over and, looking down to the same spot Lainie was looking, kept saying, "HI, there!" and waving.

I don't know if I believe in ghosts, but I do believe in angels. And my little girls just gave me more proof that they exist. It is such a comfort knowing that, when I can't be there, a loving family member is. I love that Lainie knows Rhett, even though she never got the chance to play with him in person. I wish with all my heart that they could be playing together, physically; we all still miss him so much. Well, most of us miss him; apparently, my baby girls get to have their time with Rhett, all to themselves.

Chili

Most of the time, I cherish the time we have with our kids. I listen to all the sweet old ladies who tell me to enjoy my beautiful family, because they grow up too fast. I know the time will pass quicker than I want it to...most of the time. But there are a few insignificant things that I will enjoy when the girls are older. One of those things: 4-alarm chili. Of course, by then, I probably won't be able to hand the hot stuff like I do know. Such is the irony of life!

Anywho, below is my chili recipe. If you have small kids or a wimpy tongue, skip the ingredients in red. If you are adventurous and think Hot Sauce adds flavor, not heat, then go for it!

Chili

1 pound ground beef
3 tablespoons chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 medium onion, chopped
1 green bell pepper, diced
3 jalapeno peppers, cored and seeded (unless you like it hot; then keep the seeds)
1 Anaheim pepper, cored and seeded
3 cayenne peppers, whole (stem and all, just throw it in)
6-8 shakes of Louisiana Hot Sauce
2 cans chili beans
1 can red beans
1 can diced tomatoes or Ro-Tel

• Add the onions and ground beef to a skillet. Stir in 1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder, and half the salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Cook on medium-high heat until meat in brown and onion is translucent.
• To a crockpot, add all other ingredients, including remaining spices. Stir in the beef-onion mixture.
• Cook on low for 8-10 hours.
• Remove cayenne peppers, or give them to the guy who claims there is nothing too hot for him. :)
  
• Serve with saltines, cheddar cheese, and hot sauce. (Jay adds ketchup to his, but I consider that a major party-foul!)

Don't worry if it seems like this makes too much for your family. You can turn the leftovers into chili dogs or Frito Pie...two meals, 1 day of cooking!

Super Bowl Spread

I am anxiously awaiting tomorrow night's Super Bowl. Not only is my boy Peyton in THE game with his fellow Colts, but we get to watch it at our friends' house, where the kids will have space to freely run about and we'll enjoy the company as much as the game and commercials. It's a potluck, and our contributions will be:

• Cheese-stuffed crescent rolls, which are just cubed cheese cooked inside refrigerator crescent rolls;
• Spinach-artichoke dip, made by mixing cream cheese with a jar mix from Clay Gourmet. (I'm feeling too lazy to make the from-scratch version, as yummy as it may be;
• Homemade salsa and chips. With all the tomatoes and peppers growing around this place, I only got one batch of salsa put away this year. I saved a jar just for Super Bowl.
  
• Cream-cheese covered with jalapeno jelly, served with Triscuits. I think we're actually required to bring this to every potluck. It's probably in the Jay's Jellies by laws, or something.
  

So, what are YOU serving up for Super Bowl? And, do you have any great, easy chicken hot wing recipes? Preferably one that doesn't require deep-frying?

randomness

• Apparently, knowing my job is terminal makes me enjoy it that much more! I'm staying busy, feeling productive, and happy.
• Jay has the materials to plant, oh, more than a thousand tomatoes and peppers this spring. I'm really wondering how many he'll end up growing. Either way, I think the O2 levels in our house should be fabulous!
• Katie and Maggie danced last night at the b-ball game, as part of one of those "little girl cheer camps." How did I go from being the cheerleader teaching the camp to being the mom bringing her daughters to it?
• Katie's class is having a spelling bee today, and she's dreaming of a national championship. I hope she can be proud of herself.
  
• Lainie's stridor was back last night. Either that, or she was groaning/humming in her sleep. Either way, I'm guessing she's a tired little girl today, and I'm hoping she'll stay healthy for us.
• Natalie is picking up this idea of communicating. She signs MILK with a passion, and loves to hand things to me and say "eeer aaa oooo" which by intonation, I interpret as "here ya go". Then when I hand it back, she says "ann-ew" or "Thank you." That, and a ton of DADADA! is about all we hear from her at home. She's just too busy moving to stop for a chat. :)
• Two words: Go Colts!

Edited to update: Katie won her class spelling bee! She is so proud of herself, and we are proud of her, too. And, Jay says he's going to start about 600 tomato plants and roughly 400 pepper plants. yowza.

Smarty-pants

Isn't it funny how, after awhile, the oddities become the norm?

This morning, I had to holler at Maggie to "put the book down and get ready for school." That, in and of itself, is not an oddity. The fact that she was reading "On the Banks of Plum Creek" by Laura Ingalls Wilder probably wouldn't be an oddity either, except that Maggie's in kindergarten. Jay asked her if she was almost done, to which she answered, "Oh, no, Daddy. I'm only on chapter 35." And what's even more funny to me, is that she's actually enjoying and reading the Little House on the Prairie series, while she was bored and lost interest with the smaller books (like Magic Tree House or the one with the monster titles that I can't remember.) And the little pamphlet-style books she's bringing home from kindergarten? In her words: "bor-ring." We use those to work on her articulation. (BTW, Katie is reading the LHP series now, too, so the two of them are switching back and forth. I wonder if we're at the point that Maggie is pushing Katie forward?)

I understand Maggie isn't the first kindergartner to read like she does, but I keep forgetting she is probably in the minority. The other day she asked me, "Being smart is good, right, Mommy?" And, sadly, it took me a good 15 seconds to respond, to decide how to answer.

Instead of a "yes, being smart is good" I had flashbacks to grade school and junior high. I remember my friends not playing with me because I was winning in the multiplication facts race (3rd grade). I remember being ostracized for using the word ostracized in fifth grade. I remember, every time I got a question wrong, hearing "oh, the smart girl missed one." And I remember learning to hide my intelligence in hopes of not getting ridiculed. Hence, the hesitation. I hated that part of my life.

But then I thought about my high school and college years, getting a huge college scholarship, getting two years paid for completely, not actually studying hard until my junior year of college, and learning to be proud to set the curve. I thought about how nice it is to be surrounded by friends, now, who are smarter than me, who challenge me, and who understand and encourage words like ostracize and philosophical discussions on vaccinations and economic policy. And I love that part of my life.

So, yes, Maggie, it IS good to be smart. Enjoy it. I will encourage it. Never hide it. Be proud.


*******

And not to say Katie isn't smart, too. I DO forget that. She seems average to me, but I guess she is technically qualified as gifted. Things do come easy for her. But, she already is trying to hide it, and that's breaking my heart and making me angry. She's started asking questions that she already knows the answer to, and then does this ridiculous, open-mouth, shake of the head that she must have learned from some stereotypic dumb-blonde character on TV. I put a kabosh on that immediately. "You are not a dumb-blonde and you will not EVER pretend to be. Understand? Now, don't ask questions you know the answer to, or else we'll stop answering the questions you actually want to know." Poor, poor oldest child. :)

I think my difficulty with Katie is that she is just like me, only more emotional. She shows what I felt. Somedays, it feels like it's the little Linda in front of me, and here's my chance to correct everything about me that I didn't like later. That's not fair to her, so usually I keep my mouth shut and analyze her behavior before responding. I try to encourage her creative side, recognize her achievements, and push her to push herself. I TRY to do those thing, but I have this fear that, once she reaches adulthood, she'll let me know that it was an epic-fail on my part. And all I can say is, I did my best.

Beef Stew

Thank you, Paula Dean, for the fabulous stew that is even better as leftovers!