Sunday, April 14, 2013

Confessions of a Tired Mom

I’ve heard a few times this past week how great I handle things or how together I seem or how good the kids were. A couple people even made it sound like they were scoring us up and found fault with themselves. I hated to hear that because…

Well, it’s confession time.

I yell.
I lose my temper.
I spank my kids when maybe I could have calmly redirected.
I yell. More.

I lose my temper with Lainie, especially. I get so frustrated some days with her slow response time and slower processing. I hear myself channeling Adam Sandler, wanting to scream, “S-S-Spit it out, Junior!” And that is horrible of me.

I lose my temper with Maggie, getting so frustrated with her purposeful, negative behaviors. She knows better. Why can’t we get through to her?

I butt heads with Katie. Verbally. Too much. We are too much alike.

I let Natalie sass and argue more than the other girls would have ever gotten away with, at 4-years-old or now.

I have mastered the art of setting John down and leaving the room while he screams, especially around 9 p.m. Because I don't want to listen anymore.

I can't wait to be released by my doctor so I can go run, not to get in shape but to have an excuse to leave the house for a half hour or so by myself without major guilty.

I have thought more than once about going to a hotel room for a night by myself and not letting anyone know where I was, just so I could sleep for 12 hours.

Mornings in our house can be ugly. Usually are ugly. They wouldn’t be so bad if I could get up when my alarm goes off, but I snooze. And so we rush.

My windows have never been washed on the outside. Ever. What’s the point? 

My laundry almost never gets put away. Or folded. Yes, that’s why we usually are a wrinkled family. Those clothes are cleaned but that’s about it.

I haven’t mopped in months.

I swept the floors last week. It’s the first time it’s been done since New Years Eve.

Our vacuum broke. We didn't get a new one for four months.

I dusted last week for the first time since, well, before Christmas. And I still didn’t dust the areas that I couldn’t see.

I haven’t oiled my furniture in years.

My bed is never made. My bedroom, and my daughters’ bedrooms, are usually cluttered.

We are relying heavily on frozen casseroles (THANK YOU FRIENDS!) and hotdogs. No gourmet cooking here, and very little healthy stuff right now.

We are out of milk. Again. I forgot it. Again.

I haven't helped in the garden since last summer some time.

I usually get to talk to my husband probably 10-15 minutes a day, and some times that entire time is spent gritching.

The girls do chores, in the house and in the garden, and most of the time it’s not a happy family time.

Ninety percent of the time twenty percent of our kids are mad about something.

We rely heavily on Katie. She complains the least. I sometimes just give up on Maggie and let her get away with less work. Other days, I assign her the worst task first, knowing she will throw a tantrum, which will give me an excuse to give her a second or third job. I give Lainie very easy jobs, because most days, I lack the patience to explain it to her multiple times. Natalie helps Jay.

I have to ask forgiveness, often, from God and my family, for some of my words and actions when that temper of mine breaks.

So, please, don’t compare yourself or your family member to what you might think life is like in our house. We have many faults; I have many many faults.

I pray for God’s help to raise our kids the right way and to help them become happy, healthy, successful adults…despite my parenting, not because of it.


Pusser said...

Just as I quietly suspected....YOU'RE NORMAL! Welcome to the club!

Tara said...

Aww, hugs. Sounds pretty normal to me too, especially with such a busy life, the way the pregnancy/birth went, and adjusting to life with a new baby! None of us are perfect and that's okay.