No guilt allowed

Well, all that debating and second guessing myself on whether or not the girls should have the flu shot or H1N1 shot was a waste of time. Because they got the flu before they could have had the shot, anyway.

Katie woke up Monday morning with a terrible headache and just looking like crapola. This morning, the crappy feeling came with a 102+ fever. Diagnosis without being seen at the doctor: flu, maybe H1N1, either way STAY HOME.

Meanwhile, Lainie's been fighting a cough for weeks. On Sunday night, she started having that crackly sound with every breath, but it was better Monday...until noon. By noon, daycare called and I went to pick her up, with a low fever and a nasty cough. So I finally made an appointment with the pediatrician to talk about that nagging cough.

But, Lainie decided to add a fever of 102+ this morning, too. My guess was/is some sort of virus causing the cough, with a little bit of flu sprinkled on top. Doc said it's a virus is still hitting her trachea, causing the stridor. She pulled out the big guns, prednisone, to try to get the reaction stopped and help her stop coughing and start breathing better. The problem, though, is that prednisone stops your immune response. So, the doc sent us home with instructions to give a drug that will weaken her ability to fight a flu that she may or may not have? Doc said that Lainie will be more able to fight off the influenza if she can breathe correctly, so we need to fix the trachea issue first. It makes sense, and I appreciate that Doc taking the time to explain it to me, but I'm still not convinced it's the right course of action. Then again, she has years of schooling and years of experience behind her decision. I think the other part that makes me second guess is that she said the ER doctor's prescription for croup a month ago was the wrong one. Who's right? Who's wrong? No one is infallible. Sometimes it's hard to follow doctor's orders.

Then, the pièce de résistance, is that I forgot to take the ibuprofen with us to the doctor's office this afternoon. By the time I got home, Lainie was without tylenol or ibuprofen in her system, and by the time I realized my screw-up, her fever was 103.2 and she was all stiff, shivering, with glazed eyes and gray skin. Tylenol, Ibuprofen, one bath, 2 cups of cool juice, and 30 minutes later -- 30 minutes of me holding her and Lainie's eyes rolling back then pulling forward and Lainie snuggling into me -- and she's better. She ate some, drank some, rested some, and is now raiding the bookcase.

In between the doctor's office and scary fever, I dropped the girls off at home with Jay and headed to the pharmacy for the prednisone for Lainie and Tamiflu for Katie. I also picked up a couple movies, and hit the grocery store sans kids this morning. So, we are all prepared for a 3 day hole-up for K, L, N, and I.

Daycare says onery kids don't get sick. Guess who's feeling fit as a fiddle? Miss Maggie. Let's hope she's onery enough to stay that way.

And just between you and me, I'm scared. I'm mostly scared for Lainie. Kick her immune system, expose her to the flu, while her seizure medicine is questionable about its strength, knowing illnesses trigger the seizures, and oh-by-the-way her throat is trying to close off? Sincerely, pray for her.