Morning before

It's the morning before our induction. 5 a.m., to be exact. I've been awake for an hour and a half, which is normal for me for this point in the pregnancy. Those last weeks with every pregnancy I wake at crazy times and there is no going to back to bed.

It takes me 90 minutes to give up on trying to go back to sleep.
It takes me 6-7 steps before my hips can support my weight enough for me to be able to walk without holding on to something.
It takes me 2-3 hours before I'm ready for a morning nap.

I've gained pretty close to 40 pounds.
I haven't gotten any wider in the past 4 weeks, but baby is still growing. S/he is just more crowded.
I am 39 weeks 2 days today.

Contractions are still there, ranging from a constant annoyance to a twisting, hopeful wrenching pain. Since the first part of December, they have been 3-15 minutes apart, depending the day and my activity level.

My biggest aches and pains are in the left upper quadrant of my abdomen, where I think baby has pushed and kicked me until I am bruised from the inside out. My hips are bad, but only after I have sat or laid down. Those first few steps are rough. 

On Monday, Doc offered us an induction. I didn't take it at first, wanting to avoid pit for this labor. But, truly, I have given up on my body's ability to finish labor without intervention. True, I haven't given myself 44 weeks, which is what it took Jay's mom and my mom to go into labor. I haven't even given this one 40 weeks. I'm just not dedicated enough, I guess, and so I caved. Three more weeks of contractions with no unmedicated end? No, thank you. Three less weeks at home with the baby before I return to work? No, thank you. Three more weeks of wondering every stinkin' night if the pain I'm in will be productive or if, instead, they will stop suddenly at 11 p.m. and I will go to bed defeated, tired, sore? No, thank you. Induction this week? Yes, please.

This week, we've tried just about everything to get these contractions into a steady, non-stopping pattern. Red raspberry tea, spicy food, walking, swaying, dancing, yoga, exercise ball, other stuff. :) The most effective is probably accupressure, which will cause almost an immediate contraction for me. But, even after hours, it stops.

Thursday, I walked a mile in the morning and contractions got fired up to every 3 minutes. They held steady through most of the day, even with a nap and another half mile walk in the afternoon. I was hopeful. But on Friday, when I woke up with contractions slowed and aching knees, I decided to just relax and let pitocin do its thing.

And so we are to the morning before. My mom will be here today. The girls will be taken care of. We will drive to the hospital tomorrow and take the meds to meet this baby. The bag is packed, the car is gassed up, the kids are prepared, the fridge is stocked. There will be no late night dash to the hospital. We know when this present will be opened.

For the last time, we will labor and deliver.

And we pray, so hard we pray, for a healthy baby and a smooth labor and delivery.